The weather hasn't treated me nicely at all lately... I wonder what happened to Mrs. Spring cuz I'm literally freezing my behind. The level of anxiety has just grown stronger and stronger every minute I spend here. i don't really understand. A friend just told me that going back home will create a gap in my life, what did she mean by that? I'm guessing that part of the process of adapting to being here involved getting used to the idea of starting a new life here, and then, going back home and not being able to continue what I started is what creates that gap, which, I guess, I dear to consider I possible need to come back. The thing is I don't really know if would want ot come back here (to get a degree maybe?)... I know for a fact that even though life is considerably easier and more practical here and that for some reason I fit just fine here, I don't wanna live here. This is not what I want for my life and even though conditions over there can be relatively poor (compared), I would very much rather live under poor conditions but happy to be where I belong than having a great successfull way of living that will only make me miss home more. Having said that, I still don't know what I want to do with my life. Yes, I love my country, my home, but do I want to be here for ever and settle knowing I can do so much more abroad? I don't think so, and it's not about money or success; it's about knowing what you got and taking advantage of it. I have potential, we all do, and I want to use it... and honestly, staying home is not the best call. I just wish I could take home with me wherever it is I end up...